A Guide to Beastie Boys Sports References
With Beastie Boys Story debuting on AppleTV+ last weekend, and without a ton of new content to speak of, the internet took the opportunity to revisit why Mike D, MCA, and Ad-Rock are so beloved. I have nothing to add to that discussion that hasn’t already been said. The documentary was intimate and funny and informal (Thanks, Spike Jonze!) and not necessarily a deep dive into the band’s entire history, but a must-watch for fans of the group.
So, instead of further re-litigating career retrospectives, I decided to chronicle all of the group’s sports references. The group is known for making references, both maddeningly obscure and obvious, to all sorts of pop culture. I could’ve spent days researching all of the random old sitcoms and grindhouse movies they have referenced over the years. Besides, people on the internet already have. Instead, here’s a guide to as many of their sports references as I could find. I’m sure there’s more out there.
“The Beastie Boys at the Garden cold kicking it live”- No Sleep Till Brooklyn
This isn’t necessarily a sports reference, Madison Square Garden is also a famed concert venue, but it’s the closest thing I could find to one on frat-rap-rock behemoth License to Ill and it’s the first time they make any sort of nod to their beloved New York Knicks with the name drop of the basketball Mecca.
“Shea Stadium, the radium, E.M.D. squared, Kicked out of the Palladium, did ya think that I cared?” - The Sounds of Science
We have our first Paul’s Boutique appearance, an album that is a certifiable almanac of references to sports, movies, tv, and especially music. “The Sgt. Pepper of hip-hop” This time, the venue mentioned is more purely associated with sports: the New York Mets.
“On the mic I score, just like the Yankees”- 3-Minute Rule
Yankees and Mets references on back-to-back songs? The boys were playing with New York baseball fire.
“There’s more to me than you’ll ever know. And I got more hits than Sadaharu Oh”- Hey Ladies
Probably my favorite Beastie Boys sports nod. Not just because of who it is, the home run king of Japanese baseball, but also how Ad-Rock says it. They’ll use the “more hits than” joke again.
“Got more Louie than Philip Rizzuto”- What Comes Around
Phil Rizzuto was indeed a Hall-of-Fame shortstop of the Yankees, but this line references the ads he starred in for a mortgage company called The Money Store.
“You love Mario Andretti cause he always drives his car well”- Shadrach
Mario Andretti was also name-checked on “Scenario” and “Steady Mobbin’.” Food for thought.
“I’m the King AdWhammy and you’re Dick Butkus”- Get on the Mic
“My favorite New York Knick was Harthorne Wingo”- Lay It on Me
These are both part of the epic nine-track, 12-minute “B-Boy Bouillabaisse.” Dick Butkus is a legend. Harthorne Wingo did win an NBA title, but he was not really a legend. Had a dope name though.
“I’ve got more action than my man, John Woo. And I’ve got mad hits like I was Rod Carew”- Sure Shot
Alright, so we’re skipping right over Check Your Head, their first foray into live instrumentation, as it was devoid of sports nods and diving right into Ill Communication, the group’s massive, classic 1994 album. They bring back the hits line, although this time Mike D has MAD hits. Also, what a killer one-two punch with Hall-of-Famer Carew and action director visionary John Woo.
“Butcher me on the court. Too many elbows to report. Now you’re poking me in the eye. Bill Laimbeer motherfucker, it’s time for you to die”- Tough Guy
This whole song is about THAT GUY who has to prove how much of a tough guy he is during pickup games. There’s also this line:
“Tough guy, you think you’re like the Shaq. Keep running around, you’ll catch a heart attack”
“B-Boys Makin’ with the Freak Freak” is full of sports references:
“Well, I’m brewing up rhymes like I was using a still. Kickin’ it old school flow like Mike McGill”
“I got my hair cut correct like Anthony Mason”
“Well, excuse me, motherfuckers, can I beg your pardon? I’m gonna see the Knicks at Madison Square Garden”
“And like the Knicks,I got game like I worked at Hasbro”
“I’m talking PGA Pro Tour 2”
“See, I’ve got heart like John Starks, hitting mad sparks. Pass me the mic and I’ll be rockin’ the whole park”- Get It Together
Hopefully Mike D wouldn’t go 2–18 in a Finals game.
“I’ll do you right like Bobby Knight, and then I’m rappin’ on the mic to the Broadway light”- Alright Hear This
You think as Bobby Knight ever been to a Broadway show?
“Lead my team to sixty wins like my man Pat Ewing”- Flute Loop
60 wins in 92–93 and they still lost to the Bulls. Brutal.
“Goin’ off the hook like Latrell Sprewell. I’ve got the ill technique so you know me well.”- Unite
The only sports reference I could find on Hello Nasty, which MCA says is their best album in the documentary. It’s another Knicks player of course.
“You look like Cable Guy dunked off of your crown.” -Check It Out
To the 5 Boroughs kicks off with the image of Jim Carrey’s psycho character from The Cable Guy dunking on Jack Black.
“Like Willis Reed or Elton John, we done been in the game and our game’s still on”- Long Burn the Fire
And now, after obviously by-passing the all-instrumental The Mix-Up, we jump straight to their final album, Hot Sauce Committee Part Two.
Two Madison Square Garden legends.
“In Miami, I’m sleazy with John Salley”- A Little Something for Ya
What a perfect final sports reference. John Salley — The Bad Boys Pistons, Jordan’s Bulls, the ShaqKobe Lakers, but was far from a star. And his time with Miami was 15 years gone at this point.
